AlexSweet.com

Do you want to know the bad news of the day decade? I lost AlexSweet.com.  I know. Gone. I thought I had renewed the domain name last year but when I went to check recently it said it was available for sale by HUGEDOMAINS.com for a cool $495.99.

WHAT!?

This happened on a Friday night on my train ride home when I was already a beer and a half deep into my commute and surfing the internet and which is around the time I start to look at pictures of funny cats on the internet. $495.99?! I called my domain host in a panic and was confused when the customer service agent was not also in a panic and instead sounded annoyed that I was calling drunk next to a train horn on a Friday night. I imagined him in a basement surrounded by internet cables counting hundred dollar bills next to an envelope with a return address from HUGEDOMAINS.com. He said, You failed to renew the domain, ma’am and now there is nothing you can do except buy it back. I let out a half gasp/half cry and got off the phone and emailed customer service instead in hopes the customer service email team would have more sympathy for this tragedy, but instead I got an immediate response back that said simply, It’s still me, ma’am. I already told you there’s nothing I can do.

I spent the next two weeks flipping between grief and panic. What if another alexsweet bought alexsweet.com? And then it would be gone forever? Also, is it morally wrong slash financially irresponsible to spend $495.99 on invisible real estate that does nothing except sit there waiting for the day HoBaB hits the big time and goes public? But what if I become famous? What if I don’t become famous but just want to put my feelings on the internet under my real name? Should I abandon AlexSweet.com and just buy AliceWheat.com? Then in December for the Challahdaze, Pa Sweet sent me a little Christmas gift pocket change that made alexsweet.com just a little bit closer to reality. And just think! If I saved enough over the next month I could buy it back and my anxious nights and nightly cries would finally come to an end. Alexsweet.com could be mine, again, to hold quietly and softly to myself.

It was around this time that I asked SarahSweeter to visit me in San Francisco to rub my back and cook me delicious meals and make me feel better. She said she’d love to but as a grad student couldn’t swing it. I tried searching for cheap flights that fit her budget, like a Tuesday mid-day flight to a Thursday morning flight. But there was nothing. And so it was then, after a glass of wine and with Christmas gift pocket change deposited, that I went on the internet, took a deep, drunk breath, and used my new dollars to buy SarahSweeter an airplane ticket to San Francisco. Right? Because having SarahSweeter visit is more important than invisible real estate. And family is what is most important. Dr. Adam was proud of me and said I did the right thing and I smiled with tears in my eyes mostly because being selfless is hard. Then, he went out with his friends to a party and I sat at home and three glasses of wine later I transferred $495.99 dollars from my savings to my checking and bought AlexSweet.com and I didn’t tell anybody until just now.*

The end.

*Except for /jec. I told him on Sunday.

2 Responses to “AlexSweet.com”

  1. berna says:

    oh man, this is really sad, but i think with a depleted bank account, there’s more potential for wacky hijinx to fuel HoBaB. I for one cannot wait. also, i miss you. also also, i’m going to be in SF in April, so can we stroll and pretend we’re fabulous and go to Therapy, and I will go to every college in the area and hope that they are interested in place-based interventions and youth development. it’s gonna be great. did that make sense? no? no…ok back to work…

  2. admin says:

    GCBD – Send me some of your PhD-in-progress bizzy cards and I’ll hand them out to all the colleges. Then we’ll spend all the feelings money we don’t have in our bank accounts at Therapy. I can’t wait!

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