Archive for August, 2012

Ugly Photos and Placements

Monday, August 20th, 2012

We went to the Cindy Sherman exhibit at the SFMOMA this weekend. She takes ugly photos of herself and puts them in museums and then sells them for millions of dollars. Ma Sweet doesn’t like it when I put ugly photos of myself on HoBaB or the internet but I think maybe she is missing the opportunity for a millionaire ugly photo famous daughter no? Except Cindy Sherman’s photos are of her impersonating characters and mine are just of me impersonating my feelings. I don’t even have Google Ad Words on my blog so chances of making money on ugly internet feelings photos are slim but maybe I will consult with a financial planner or FreetZ who is in school to be a curator. Maybe the FreetZ can curate HoBaB.

Here is a photo of the Cindy Sherman Glittery Ice Cream Feelings Float we bought at the SFMOMA cafe which I think is an expensive shirley temple for kids.

That, my friends, is a Cindy Sherman Glitter Ice Cream Float.

And here are the Chilewich placements we bought at the SFMOMA gift shop which means we now own expensive placements which means we are now by definition adults.

Chilewich placements. Now we are real adults.

Lamb shank monarch planes

Wednesday, August 15th, 2012

Here’s a recap. Dr. Adam and I have been dating for 12 months I know this blog is not a dating blog and talking about dating is kind of against the rules but the point is it was on Friday and we spent the evening half way between San Jose and San Francisco eating lamb shanks and giving each other presents. He gave me a watch and 6 packs of peanut-butter and jelly m&m’s guess which part was my favorite. I gave him the monarch butterfly chairs which is a plural gift which means it was also a gift for me which is kind of selfish but once we were at the REI and we sat in the monarch chairs for 20 minutes and Dr. Adam said can we get these? and I was like, no way too impractical when are we going to need squatting chairs with only two legs for all the times we haven’t been camping? Turns out  we need them all the time because now Dr. Adam follows me around the apartment when I get home and whenever I stop to do something for a few minutes he pops a squat in the monarch chair next to me and everybody wins.

Then after the lamb shanks I went to the airplane station to take a flight to the New York State for Lauren and Reid’s big day wedding. I didn’t feel like having any airplane station marteenees so instead I had an airplane station advil PM. Have you tried this? It worked. Not only did I not get scared but I did not wake up until the man next to me hit my arm after we landed. The wedding was the best. I drank just a several dozen glasses of wine and marathon danced for 5 hours. It was really happy. Here is a photo of the chuppah and then the hoisting of the big day couple. My favorite part was doing the hora (because I’m Jew-ish).

Lauren and Reid's big day

Lauren and Reid's big day dance.

Then on Sunday I went to the JFK airplane station and the airline said Ok Alice listen we overbooked the flight we’re real sorry, do you want to volunteer your seat and take the next plane in two hours? I want to say that I said yes because I am altruistic but I said yes because then I would have two hours to eat some shame at the airport which does not make me feel like a good person. Then she said, Ok here’s your ticket for the next plane, I’ve upgraded you to Bizzy Class (that’s inside speak for Business Class) and given you $400 worth of travel vouchers. Then I gave her a wink and ate a double cheese burger. In retrospect this was a mistake, but I did not know it was a mistake at the time, because who in their right mind would know that flying from New York to San Francisco counts as an international flight? Know what you get on international flights? A flying hotel room. I had a huge seat with a toiletry kit, cashmere socks, a pillow, a blanket, head phones, an eye mask, 3 courses of meals, and 15 bottles of wine because apparently nobody else in bizzy class was drinking that night. The woman next to me was a pro at bizzy class and after my 3rd glass of wine I confessed it was my first time then she showed me how to recline my chair and order all the movies for free. Which I did. Here’s the lesson: flying is not scary when you’re eating sorbet and drinking wine in a lounge chair. The bad news is that apparently it costs a million dollars a ticket so I have started a piggy bank and it will be my bizzy class fund but I might only be able to get one seat in ten years so if I fly with Dr. Adam we will have to do switchsies half way through the flight.

I will conclude this post with a list of all my meals in photos.

Delta Business Class Course #1

Delta Business Class Course #2

Delta Business Class Course #3

The end.

Frogs and Oil Refineries and Tuna Steaks

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

Last night the Frogs played another soccer team and there was a woman about or 50 or so with gray hair and nobody challenged her because they thought “old lady” and then she turned out to be Italian and the best player on their team. I went up to her at half time because we are both 50 with gray hair and I said Hi I’m Alex and she said, I’m Ann, and I said, You’ve got some nice ball skillz, and then we were friends. Making soccer friendships is fun. We still lost. But we won because the other team had to forfeit because they didn’t have enough players. Then Dr. Adam picked me up and said, How was your game? And I pouted and kicked the ground and said, Fine, and he said, Want to see a picture of a burning Chevron Oil Refinery I took on my bike ride up to Twin Peaks, And I said yes and then it made me feel sad for the environment and less sad about losing my game even though we won because the other team didn’t have enough players. And then Dr. Adam said,  ok let’s go I have a some honey ginger glazed tuna steaks marinating at home.

Then this morning I got on the 6:59am Caltraincycle and I haven’t taken the 6:59am since August of last year and when I got on the train the conductor saw me and said, Oh Hey, it’s been a while, welcome back! And that made me happy.

Here are some recent photos: