Archive for January, 2012

Chez Panizzle

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

My gentleman friend and I went to Chez Panisse. It isa  fancy and expensive restaurant in Berkeley by Alice Waters but Pa Sweet gave us a gift certificate. We were the youngest/poorest ones there. I clapped every time they brought us a new course. The waiter kept asking us what occasion we were celebrating aka what are you doing here? So we took some casual photos and then I stole the menu.

Breaking news Chez Panisse candlelight is not flattering

Fun tip: Expensive food + unflattering lighting = perfect date night.

Gchat of the Day

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

Friendship Andy went to the Transportation Research Board Annual Conference which you may remember from last year when he devised the fool-proof plan to meet, greet, and woo JSK. He returned to the conference again this year and attended the same committe meeting starring JSK and new professional crush, GK, the head of the Chicago Dept of Transportation Planning. He live-texted the entire event.

Andy: btw GK looks great
Andy: he wore this dark chocolate colored tweed suit
Andy: and JSK looked like marc jacobs custom dressed her in his business casual collection a la Marc for Janette
Andy: a bikeshare dock just appeared in the room when they shook hands and we all clapped
Andy: apparently if they make babies nationwide congestion pricing gets implemented

Professional Look of the Day?

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

Here is the professional look of the day as modeled by Alice Wheat on the Caltraincycle.

Looking good Alice

Want this look? Here’s how!

1) go grey

2) put your hair in a pony tail with a rubber band

3) take your ponytail down. but not quite.

4) watch your confidence intervals sky rocket and by sky rocket I mean nose dive.

In related news: Ma Sweet gets mad when I put ugly photos of myself on the internet.

I am a professional

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

On Wednesday I gave a presentation to our entire firm via webinar which is a seminar over the webernet. I wore my presentation-giving professional dress to look professional and fancy even though people couldn’t see it over the internet but I could see it in real life and it made me feel like I was doing a good job. The presentation was about a road diet database our office created over the past year two weeks. After talking to Aruba about street design for four months I thought oh great road diet database presentation to the entire firm nobigdeal they won’t even see my face and that’s when I became nervous because if the presentation doesn’t go well I will usually do a little song and dance to distract/entertain the audience but there is no way to do a little song and dance over the internet unless I cued up a youtube video about cats or something. Anyway I wrote out a little script and I did a great job and at the end my local office clapped. Then I went to the kitchen and ate six oreos.

The end.

This is Just to Say

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

There are bubbles in our coffee at work. We’ve spent the past month criticizing our front desk receptionist for making soapy coffee. So she double rinsed all the coffee machine components and then hid them in case anyone tried to wash them with soap. We replaced the coffee. Then I bought a single serve coffee filter. But the bubbles continued and so did the soapy coffee paranoia. So this morning I asked the google, Google, why are there bubbles in my coffees? And the google said, it is normal, young coffee drinker, and, in fact, a sign of fresh coffee! So I wrote an office-wide email to let my colleaues know that the coffee is A-OKAY and what started out as Dear office: Everything is ok with the coffee don’t panic!” turned into a poem inspired by William Carlos Williams which I emailed out at 9am this morning.

This is Just to Say

By Alice Wheat

I have researched

the bubbles

that were in

the coffee

and which

you were probably

fearing

or ignoring.

Great news

the bubbles are fine

a sign

of fresh brew.

A minute after the email I heard a slow clap which erupted into cries and shouts of “Bravo Alice, Bravo!” I’m lying. That didn’t happen, only in my mind.. And in my cube, where I gave myself a high five (clapped?).

UPDATE: Turns out nobody in San Jose has heard of this William Carlos Williams or his plum poem. I’d like to say I’m surprised but nobody in San Jose has heard of Janette Sadik-Kahn either so really this city which is the 10th largest in the country mind you is really one big bubble which means I have a lot of work to do like building bike lanes and emailing my company-wide feelings in iambic pentameter.

Ski Onesies I feel great

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

In other news: my gentleman friend and I are supposed to go skiing in a land called Tahoe this weekend. I have never been to Tahoe but a lot of people in SF name drop Tahoe and now I must go because I must fit in. The last time I skiied was in a land called Connecticut with the Fritchwitts. Here are Sweet, Fritchey, and Berkwitt the Switchwitts pre-ski:

The Switchwitts

And here are the Switchwitts apres-ski.

The end

I only fell once and that was because Connecticut was covered in ice and not snow. The good news is Tahoe is not covered in ice but the bad news is that Tahoe is not covered in snow either. This is bad timing because our Tahoe ski onesies just arrived in the mail from the Ebay yesterday. I asked my gentleman friend if we could have a power couple name like the Fitchwitts and he said: Sciambex? (pronounced: Shawm-bex) Which sounds like exercise apparel or maybe a cleaning fluid. I’ll take it.

Here we are in our skiing onesies. I think my eyes are closed because my onesie reflected the light of the flash and for a moment I was blinded by awesome.

Ski onesies twinsies?

The Switcheys and the Fritchwitts

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

Breaking news: The Fritchwitts are engaged to be mahweed. Ma Petite FreetZ and her doctuh Berkwitt are going to be unionized. I received the news a couple of weeks ago while on the train analyzing Google Campus crash data when I got a text from Ma Petite with a photo of a painting with a ring in it that said, It’s official I’m getting married! I wept and then I fainted.

The Fritchwitts came to visit last week and I spent most of the time holding on to the FreetZ’s arm and petting her ring finger while our Dr. Adams (2!) talked about¬†weddings cells and cancer detection (boring). I don’t have any photos of the four of us on our double dream bicycle date to the ocean and back but here’s a photo of the Switchey’s and the crown the Berkwitt put on the FreetZ’s ring finger. Dreamboat city if you ask me.

The Switchey Reunion

Berkwitt crowned the FreetZ

Text Message of the Day

Friday, January 6th, 2012

“So what do you think of my new Gucci pumps?” – Ma Sweet

*cat sound*

omg shoes