Archive for December, 2011

Chappy Challahdaze from Sweechigan!

Monday, December 26th, 2011

We didn’t exchange any gifts for Christmas but Ma Sweet gave my sister the best gift of all when she turned to me and said, Sarah has gotten funnier than you.

Here’s Alice “funny” Sweet and Sarah “funnier” Sweeter.

Chappy Challahdaze!

Meat Dumplings

Saturday, December 24th, 2011

I was at home the other night sitting on my bed holding a plate of trader joe’s meat dumplings under my chin (less distance from plate to mouth) and looking at stupid things on the internet (the picture of poise and etiquette) when my gentleman friend (gf? no) came home from the lab half an hour earlier than he said he’d be home and so explains  the meat-dumpling-internet-scene evidence had not yet been cleared. I managed to at least take the meat dumpling plate away from my chin and onto my bureau before he walked into my room and as dumpling grease clung to my chin I thought, oh god is it too soon to let him see me like this? Then he sat down and said, Are you watching the internet? And I said, yes. And he said, I got you a present, as if I should be rewarded for sitting on the bed alone eating meat dumplings in front of the internet. He handed me a taped up cardboard box which was confusing because why do I get presents on Mondays? And I opened it and inside, nestled into a bundle was a brand new sippy cup (as mine had been critically injured in a fall from my bike en route to the gym) and a dark purple patagonia down sweater jacket a la Ma Sweet’s green one. I nearly choked on my meat dumplings. I have been pawing over patagonia down sweaters for a few months now and may or may not have voiced this pawing in the verbal form of, “I want a patagonia down sweater,” including two days ago when Pa Sweet called and said What do you want for xmas and I said “I want a patagonia down sweater” and he said a what? And I said, “money to buy a patagonia down sweater.” After I put on the jacket my gentleman friend said, “I wanted to get you one before your parents did. The store only had three colors: Black which is not allowed, Blue which is for boys, and Purple which is for Alex.” And then I fainted.

See photo below for evidence of purple down sweater with my brand new red lady bike. And here’s a photo of me in an orange sweatshirt to demonstrate my range of outdoor performance gear options  and happy eyes happy face poses (purple wins).

TWINSIES!!

Happy Lady Bike

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

Ok don’t panic. Ok. I got a new bike. I KNOW. It was sudden but I found it on the internet and I went to the owner’s house and I rode it around her apartment garage for 35 seconds and then I gave her some cash money and now I have a new bike. It is red. And it is a lady bike. The Mercedes is jealous but I now keep the mercedes inside where it can be warm and also because I only have one lock and right now the lady bike gets the lock because she has to stay outside. Ok here’s a photo with me doing happy eyes happy face with my new happy lady bike. Isn’t it charming? I should go to Pottery Barn and get some plastic baguette prop to nail to the front basket for year round charm.

My new lady bike. The mercedes is jealous.

Transportation Parties

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

The company where I work also known as the Transportation Planning Factory has had approximately 3 holiday parties. The first one we went on a wine train which is a train that you drink wine on. The second was when we hung up christmas decorations in our office including the holiday-neutral snowflake that adorns my cubicle window and then ate some red cookies while we stood in a circle in the front lobby. The third party was at the factory owner’s house in the suburbs where I brought a bottle of red wine and wore a red sweater and got a tour of her walk-in closet (it had multiple hallways dream big). Tonight we are having a fourth holiday party where our office is going to a town 20 minutes away and playing the traditional annual christmas bocce ball. Is this was california christians do? It is all confusing to me. Fortunately I managed to wear my Via Spiga black suede booties which will both intimidate my competition and weaken my game, but at least I will look like a million rubles. Speaking of which – I am going to the Chica-go-go in a week and a half and here’s what I have planned (in order probably):

Hug Rahm
Go to the Sweechigan

EAT ALL THE THINGS
Buy bikes for Sweechigan
Give gifts Get gifts
Light candles
Spin dreidels
Repent (is that just Yom Kippur or are we always apologizing on holidays I can’t remember?)
Sounds like fun can’t wait!

Baggus, Mercedes, and Ma Sweet

Thursday, December 8th, 2011

Hello this is Alex, know what today is I’ll tell you it’s Ma Sweet’s birthday!  What a catch. For Ma Sweet’s birthday I bought her some baggus because Ma Sweet loves baggus because they are very convenient and fashionable and sometimes draw oohs and aahhs from grocery store clerks, bus drivers, and potential suitors on the streets. That is why I bought her some flashy baggus so she can buy me things and carry the things home in them all while getting a lot of attention and compliments as Ma Sweets tend to do even without the baggus.

In other news at work today our conference room table caught on fire. I’m not sure how it happened but I think it had to do with an electrical outlet so the whole office went to starbucks and I read the new yorker for a while until our office leader said, ok everybody go home! So everybody walked or drove their 5 minute-commute home and I got on the 90 minute local train back to the city of San Franneato. I bought a burrito for 90 minutes of comfort but now that the burrito is over I do not feel comforted and I think it was a mistake.

These days I have been biking the Mercedes to the train-port and bringing the mercedes on the train to San Jose where I bike the mercedes to the office. It’s like bring your pet to work day everyday. And on the train the mercedes gets to ride in the bike car and spoon the other bikes. It’s like a bike play date. I sit in the row above the mercedes and watch it to make sure that nobody hits it or takes it or maybe stares at it too long because thy shall not covet thy trainmate’s bike.

In some similar news I have been going to work everyday which I think is what all adults do which is not very exciting to blog about. There are not a lot of exciting things like staying up until 4am drawing bike lanes or traveling to the Aruba and swimming with flamingos to blog about.  I have my own cubicle at the transportation planning factory and my office leader told me I could get a street sign to put in my office cubicle and he gave me a list of street designations and said, ANY ONE YOU WANT! He did not yell it like that but when I repeated it in my head it sounded like it. I think I am going to get Sweet Street because Alex Annex and ACSweet Boulevard aren’t as good. I will post a photo when it arrives for proof. When I am not going to the transportation planning factory I am boxing or drinking or. No. That’s it. I am boxing or drinking but never at the same time. Sometimes I am also biking on long rides with my gentleman friend. I leave the mercedes at home because it is a sprinter and not a long distance runner and I wear a bicycling outfit that makes my confidence intervals shrink.

And now here is a photo of Ma Sweet’s hiking action shot. Happy Birthday Ma Sweet!

Ma Sweet's action shot