Archive for October, 2011

What I meant to say

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

There are two rules to House of Bland and Blog do you want to know what they are? Ok.
Rule #1. No Blogging at work
Rule #2. No Blogging about gentleman friends

Coincidentally one must now imagine which two activities are taking up all of my time every time all the time every day (hint I am almost bending rule #2)

The difficulty in not blogging when you’re with the two things you’re not supposed to blog about is that HoBaB has endured what is widely known in blogging as a feelings desert. It’s painful, I think, for both the blog and the blogger. I end up feeling like a negligent pet owner, right? If HoBaB were a camel? In the desert?

But really sometimes when I am feeling particularly antsy for HoBaB and I am with my gentleman friend I will sneak into the other room and pretend to write emails when really I am secretly editing a feelings draft for HoBaB. It feels shameful I start to sweat and get paranoid and look over my shoulder while crouching in the corner with the lights off and when I am gone long enough he will come into the dark room to find me and I’ll slam my laptop shut and say Nothing! Haha! Internet!

After a desperate and failed attempt to blog on my roast phone this past weekend I started to feel like maybe HoBaB wasn’t going to make it. And if HoBaB didn’t make it, what would happen to me? Where do all the feelings go if not on the internet? If you have a feeling and it doesn’t go in the internet and nobody’s around did the tree make a sound in the woods?

Ironically there is plenty of time to blog after work when there is a period of about an hour when my gentleman friend works on his science homework and I read all of my shopping emails (gender equality) and I think maybe he won’t notice my pink and red HoBaB banner. But he’s very observant (science!) and good at the internet (dream) so I figured it was only a matter of time.

You might think that this story has a happy ending. That last night after sitting alone in my bathroom typing my feelings furiously onto the internet the guilt became too much and I walked into my room where my gentleman friend was working on his science homework and while struggling to catch my breath I’d stand there crying and hugging my laptop in the door frame until I finally wailed, I HAVE A BLOG!

Very dramatic. And after all the secrets were released I could blog freely and openly and HoBaB would be like a leaping jumping grinning camel in a sunny damp rainforest of internet dreams.

Instead I’m writing this on my roast phone on the traincycle. Alone. But, in the end the first step, I think, is acknowledging the circumstances and, apparently, dismissing rule #2, at least for now. Ergo, this post. So. There it is.

Tune in next time when I tell you about the time in LA I went to Disneyland with /jec and Grandpa Lou. It’ll be great.

SERIOUSLY?

Friday, October 7th, 2011

That was not a joke. I just spent 25 minutes typing the rest of my feelings in that post. I hate you roast phone.

Hello?

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Um. Hi. I think this is the longest I’ve gone without putting my feelings on HoBaB know how that makes me feel? Horrible.

I’m at the San Jose airplane station. Me and my marteenee (also the title of my grammatically incorrect autobiography?) And half a dozen san Jose business men (sad scene).

I’m writing this on my roast phone which is very risky bc it always manages to delete at least half of my feelings when I upload the