Archive for May, 2009

Team

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

The store is a warzone and the most recent casualties were two of my favorites.  It’s been days since I’ve seen Shah-Money and at lunch today I asked where he’s been.  Everyone lowered their heads until a cashier looked at me and said You didn’t hear?  No, what?  He was fired.  WHAT?   Ya, they got rid of him and you know what they do they hire someone else before they get rid of you so that as soon as you come in to work they can tell you to go home because they have a replacement and as soon as they decide they don’t like you they’ll find any reason to get rid of you you know so you need to not fuck up.  There was a shared moment of silence among us as we shook our heads.  He was a hard worker, I said.  I liked him.  Ya, everyone agreed.  He was cool.

On Friday night when our shift ended at 10p I went out with my retail colleagues to a bar down the street that doesn’t check ID.  The average age of our entourage was 20 and for one colleague it was her first time in a bar.  She asked for a shot of vodka.  I told her to get it chilled.  She said, what is that?   The entire evening made my heart kind of melt.  Here is an iphone photo of me with one of the stockboys who said he prefers the Spanish bars in Queens where he can dance.

best friends

Wichita Sutra Vortex

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

I just spent forty five minutes looking for a song that begins at 5 minutes and 30 seconds into the prologue of This American Life episode #376 “Wrong Side of History.”

[audio:http://www.jockandbuttons.com/alex/wp-content/audio/Wrong%20Side%20of%20History.mp3]

Oh Phil.  I just knew it was you.

zomg

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Ok so after I got home from Shivani’s Indian Wedding Part II: The White Dress Ceremony, I was showing Sarah Sweet the photos.  She stopped me at one of the Hinsdale girls lined up and pointed to a tall blonde and said who is that? I don’t know, I said.  I think that’s Steve’s girlfriend.  Really? Sarah said, she looks really familiar.  We hesitated and stared.  Maybe she used to play squash?

Steve and I went to elementary school together. I know nothing about him.  He got the fastest times in the annual mile run but I’ve never heard him speak.  He’s tall and objectively attractive.  His dad is a dentist.

So, naturally, I requested an internet friendship from Steve on thefacebook dot com tonight and, when he accepted, I stalked his facebook groups,  photo albums, and any related work info.

Well, Sarah, the tall blonde did not play squash.  She played Miss American 2009 and placed in the Top 10.

wtf

Here is a photo of me looking thrilled next to Miss District of Columbia (in white, really? it’s a wedding).

I think i lose

omg photos everywhere

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

On Thursday we had a going away party for T.Janes who left this weekend for some traveling before he begins an internship with the Climate Group in Hong Kong.  Peter works at The Climate Group, but it’s in NY.  So I think we all know who wins here.  Taylor?  Are you there yet?  Are you live blogging from an international flip-phone?  See photos from Goodbye Taylor at the end of this set.

I went home for a friend’s wedding.  It was a weekend-long Indian Wedding Spectacular.  I got to wear two outfits and eat cake.  See photos of Shivani’s Wedding here.

When I wasn’t sari for partying, I put on purple lipstick, gardened, and then ate some ribs = the definition of winning. See Memorial Weekend 2009 photos here.

Nom nom nom

Monday, May 25th, 2009

cheeeese

Guest Blogger of the Day: Sarah Sweet

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

I’ve come to terms with the fact that Alex is funnier and smarter than I am.  Thus, it hardly bothers me anymore when my platonic boyfriend Darius tells me that he found her most recent blog not only witty but vastly knowledgeable.

Despite my acceptance of Alpal’s ability to type up funny paragraphs (that only 25 people read) when Alpal are I are in Chicago, we compete for the attention of our mother.  She usually wins because I always start talking about Eric Church and my fan club membership that gets me a special price on his three day concert series in Nashville where each song will be broken down lyrically and musically and the stories behind the songs revealed. (Berna, can I sleep over?)  I usually get a disbelieving look from both of them that reminds me of parents weekend my freshmen year at Northeastern.  My mom and Alpal visited Boston to celebrate the fact that I was in college and doing so well.  As I came out of my dorm they gave me that disbelieving look and said, ” you’re still so preppy”.   Although my popped collars and ribbons are long gone, their distaste for my taste remains.  Here is a picture that captures how far our love goes despite our differences.

dsc07447_2.JPG

I’m in Chicago

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

warm food is the best food

To do:

DieHairDye

Paint Nails

Buy Heels

Eat Meat

Indian Wedding Pt I

Indian Wedding Pt II

I have no money but it is sunny

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

After visiting thirteen different offices this morning at Statistics College Technical Institute.edu and forking over more money for a summer class than I make in two three months, I bought a rent’s worth of overpriced undergarments, and then treated myself for all the hard work to a fat free zucchini carrot muffin in Washington Square Park where it seems the entire NYU campus was having a picnic.  It felt like Sesame Street, complete with the homeless men cuddled together on blankets on the grass, perched on their elbows, drinking and singing rounds of Led Zeppelin.  Does Philadelphia have homeless a Capella groups?

And then gc Berna surprised me at work.  And my floor manager told me I was doing a really great job smiling today.  Win.  Peter, when are you going to surprise me at work with flowers a sandwich i’m hungry?  How many polar ice caps melt if you take a fifteen minute break to buy a synthetic third world t-shirt of a neon wolf 40% off (when you pay cash)?  Trick question.  Chocolate.

This is not a joke

:| :) :|

Monday, May 18th, 2009

Apparently “corporate” is coming tomorrow and the entire retail store is in cahoots.  The managers are feisty and snappy, the store is a mess, and all of us are standing around wide-eyed and unsympathetic.  All the important higher-ups are flying over the Atlantic to survey our store and figure out why it’s not selling any clothes.  Apparently this is a big deal.  I feel nothing.

It’s hard to take retail seriously when just the other day my manager had to give me a lecture on the merits of smiling.  He told me I wasn’t smiling enough.  I told him smiling all the time would probably be less effective since it would be so physically/emotionally tiring that it would come across as forced and insincere.  Thus it would be better for both my face and the customer if I oscillated between concentrating-face and sincere-happy-smiling-face.  He frowned, confused, then said, but you’ve got such a great smile!  I punched him in the face.  That’s not true.  But I think about it a lot sometimes.

Movie of the Day: The Great Gatsby

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

sweaty rob and mia

I reread The Great Gatsby last month and I watched the film tonight.  Everyone is so sweaty and breathy and bored.  Sounds like my summer.  tjk Daisy never volunteered.

Trivia Time!

“Originally, Truman Capote was the screenwriter, and his draft included making Nick a homosexual and Jordan Baker a vindictive lesbian. Capote was fired, and Francis Ford Coppola finished his draft in three weeks.” via IMDB