Archive for April, 2009

Barackr

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Obama Photographer

Um, I just stumbled upon The Official White House page on Flickr.

It went like this:  Oh, what’s this?  Is that Barack Obama on flickr?  Is this.. no.  Is this the White house Flickr page?

Flash forward ten minutes, half an hour, three weeks later I have no idea.   Prepare to swoon.

Uniforms

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Yesterday was a pretty big deal. I walked into work and one of the retail managers stopped me on the floor and asked me my size. Naturally I became hostile and defensive until she said, You’re getting your uniform.

I have been wearing my own black pants and tops at work for the designated 30 day trial-we-can-fire-you-at-any-time period. I don’t doubt that receiving my uniform is not unlike receiving some sort of merit badge. I was doubly flattered when she handed me two sizes of both the pants, shirt, and vest, one in the size I asked for, and one a size smaller. Oh please, you shouldn’t have! I walked onto the floor with a new confidence, a heightened posture, smiling at the customers and nodding at my retail comrades. Unfortunately my feelings of Yes We Can! were immediately crushed when the manager then told me to go stack-n-fold in the polyester dungeon. So I did. For eight hours.

In other retail me news:

Modeling

It looks effortless, I know, but modeling is really hard. Sean didn’t give us much direction other than, “look over there,” while Peter stood there judging and telling me to “suck it in a little more.” That’s not true. But he did use a clothing pin to tighten the shirt and make me look thinner. What a friend.

See more here.

Success

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Crowdeded

Berna and I drove up to Hamilton College in her compact SUV on Friday morning where we met up with the rest of the Team & friends to screen the premiere of Streak to Win.  A lot of people showed up and they laughed which made everyone feel good so we danced, ate our feelings (shame), and sat around in friendship circles for the rest of the weekend.  See photos here.  Sean’s photos are coming soon.  I think they might require blurring.  Don’t panic.

The first two episodes are up, ps.  You can see them here.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to clarify that those two rows of empty seats are reserved for VIP.  That, or nobody wants to sit near Klivecka (yellow).  Does he read this?

And we’re off.

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Tomorrow (Friday) I am driving up to Hamilton College with gc Berna for the debut of Streak to Win.  I’d like to say I will be live blogging from the event but that would be a lie because I have a flip phone.  Stay tuned for photos and updates.

In other news, I ate an entire package of Hit cookies.  Shitsdelicious.

Comment of the Day

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
  1. AD Says:
    If you accidentally sell one customer three units, can you roll over that half unit to the next customer to whom you only sold two units?

    Alternatively, if one train leaves Cleveland at 2:00 pm, traveling west at 165 miles per hour and another train leaves Topeka at 4:30 pm, traveling east at 180 miles per hour, do you really think Detroit will abandon the automotive industry and embrace presidential light rail?

Confidence Crush ‘n Fail

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Last week I had an interview at another retail establishment because they called and I thought, okay let’s just explore all of our options, hm?  It turns out that the interview made me feel two things: 1) old, and 2) an odd affection for my current job.  I’ve become strangely attached to my youthful stack & fold colleagues.

In the middle of folding and stacking synthetic fiber wears in the Dungeon today, I was called on my walky talky by my twenty one year old floor manager for a practice monthly review during which he explained how I will be critiqued each month on my attentiveness to customers, how many times in a day I mention our promotional sales, and how many units I sell per customer (minimum 2.5 wtf that’s hard).  I had trouble looking him in the eye mostly because I was falling asleep but also because he was taking himself really seriously and I was getting second hand embarrasment because I was completing his sentences in my head with GRE vocab words while he lectured me on the merits of two-for-one tank top deals.  I tried to sound attentive by asking questions, but he was unprepared for anything other than his prepared speech, so he would just laugh and tell me that I’m doing a great job and my personality is really shining through.  This must have done wonders for my confidence because I came straight home and created an ego feed using Google Trends.  I get an email anytime someone posts a story about Alex Sweet which sounds sleuthy but in my case it doesn’t work because instead of finding things like “Alex Sweet’s personality is really shining through at work!” I get “I’ll take sweet stache for $500, Alex Trebek.”

Ego fail dot com.

Fit & Feel(ings)

Monday, April 20th, 2009

On Saturday my retail floor manager announced at our one o’clock floor meeting that the store was starting a new little program called Fit & Feel, as in, How does it fit how do you feel?  (fine thanks) All of the sales associates will get a chance to try on different outfits so that we can have a better perspective of fit and feel and overall retail zen.

So, this Monday morning our floor manager chose outfits for each of the morning sales associates, and suddenly I found myself being dressed, judged, and critiqued by three twenty year old gay Latinos.  The first outfit they chose is hard to describe but it involved a lot of high cuts and low cuts and when I walked out I heard a lot of “ay mami.”  I stood in front of very, very bright light bulbs while they poked and prodded and adjusted and said, you should dress like this more often, you’re always so dowdy.  Thank.you.  I feel great.

Friendships

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Subway construction is the great unifier.  Last night coming home on the train after work at 11p, I was in a half-full subway car when the train conductor announced a complicated route change that involved MTA Cuts transfers and track changes and platform cross-overs.  Only half the people not listening to ipods heard the message, and then had to relay the complicated route change instructions to the other half, and then again in Spanish to the rest of the subway party.  A drunk man next to me kept repeating the message for anyone who needed a reminder, while a Mexican man across from me wearing a wool poncho (it was 70 degrees) and who clearly had the Pink Eye kept asking us for clarification.  The blonde girl sitting next to him in her after work gym clothes graciously explained the situation, but it was clear the Pink Eye had trouble understanding, so she gestured with her hands in a way that said, just follow me, we’re all going to the same place, while the drunk man nodded enthusiastically and I motioned with my arms and empathetic eyebrows, Ya we’re all in this together.  This brief moment of euphoric public transportation utopia was soon crushed by a fifteen minute crossover-transfer-route change to a second train line where everyone became miserable again, albeit together.

As I have mentioned before, at my new retail place of employment, there are two employees named Alex, and so everyone calls me Alexandra.  Everyone, that is, except for Shah-Money, who just today said, I will call you “My favorite Alex.”  I don’t know what I did to deserve this, considering I concentrate really hard on folding and not very hard on friendship-making.  It is clear that I do not fit into this retail clique, but today I felt alright.

500 Times

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

“What it comes down to is this: if your stainless steel bottle takes the place of 50 plastic bottles, the climate is better off, and if it gets used 500 times, it beats plastic in all the environment-impact categories studied in a life cycle assessment.”  How Green is My Bottle?, The New York Times

Whee! II

Friday, April 17th, 2009

“We are very jazzed about it,” said Karen Parsons, executive director of the Southern High-Speed Rail Commission.  Obama: High-Speed Rail System Needed, The Huffington Post

Dream come true.