Archive for the ‘Nooooooooooo’ Category

Jury Duty if my favorite duty

Friday, January 18th, 2013

Jury Duty is over. It ended on Wednesday. The attorneys gave their closing arguments on Monday morning and then the judge turned to the jury and told us the next step would be the deliberations. I have been waiting for deliberations since Day 1. Think about it. You sit in a courtroom for a week and hear all these alarming facts and stories and all you want to do is gossip with someone. But I was very good and I never talked to anyone on the jury, not even to say hi, which might have been rude but I am a strict rule follower in the courthouse. So you can imagine my disbelief when the judge turned to me and said, And you, Alternate Juror #2, are dismissed. We’ll call you if we need you. What! I don’t get to deliberate? No, the clerk said, only if one of the jurors is excused. In the meantime, please spend tomorrow within 20 minutes of the courthouse in case we call you in.

So I sat at home on Tuesday next to my phone waiting for them to call me. I at least wanted some kind of trial wrap party with the jurors so we could finally introduce ourselves and mingle and drink wine out of solo cups and celebrate our civic duty achievement. Instead, the clerk called me at 4:30pm and said, The trial is over. The defendant was found guilty. And that was it.

I feel like I got kicked out of a movie before it ended and someone at the concession stand calls me over and says: It was the sled.

Still, jury duty was the best thing to happen to me.  Here are my top three reasons why I love jury duty:

  • Number 1. Court was in session everyday from 9:30am-4:30pm with a morning recess, a 90 minute lunch break, and an afternoon recess.  I would go home for lunch and Adam and I would eat tuna fish sandwiches. I felt like I was in kindergarten.
  • Number 2. My commute was 15 minutes long, which means I could get home in time to go to the early session BodyCombat! gym class.
  • Number 3. I got to sit and watch people argue and talk about interesting topics and then I was told to judge them.

Can I be a full-time juror? I think jurors only get paid like $17/day which would be tough in San Francisco, so maybe I’ll just try to make it an annual part-time gig.

Here is a photo I found on the internet that really sums up my experience:

AlexSweet.com

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Do you want to know the bad news of the day decade? I lost AlexSweet.com.  I know. Gone. I thought I had renewed the domain name last year but when I went to check recently it said it was available for sale by HUGEDOMAINS.com for a cool $495.99.

WHAT!?

This happened on a Friday night on my train ride home when I was already a beer and a half deep into my commute and surfing the internet and which is around the time I start to look at pictures of funny cats on the internet. $495.99?! I called my domain host in a panic and was confused when the customer service agent was not also in a panic and instead sounded annoyed that I was calling drunk next to a train horn on a Friday night. I imagined him in a basement surrounded by internet cables counting hundred dollar bills next to an envelope with a return address from HUGEDOMAINS.com. He said, You failed to renew the domain, ma’am and now there is nothing you can do except buy it back. I let out a half gasp/half cry and got off the phone and emailed customer service instead in hopes the customer service email team would have more sympathy for this tragedy, but instead I got an immediate response back that said simply, It’s still me, ma’am. I already told you there’s nothing I can do.

I spent the next two weeks flipping between grief and panic. What if another alexsweet bought alexsweet.com? And then it would be gone forever? Also, is it morally wrong slash financially irresponsible to spend $495.99 on invisible real estate that does nothing except sit there waiting for the day HoBaB hits the big time and goes public? But what if I become famous? What if I don’t become famous but just want to put my feelings on the internet under my real name? Should I abandon AlexSweet.com and just buy AliceWheat.com? Then in December for the Challahdaze, Pa Sweet sent me a little Christmas gift pocket change that made alexsweet.com just a little bit closer to reality. And just think! If I saved enough over the next month I could buy it back and my anxious nights and nightly cries would finally come to an end. Alexsweet.com could be mine, again, to hold quietly and softly to myself.

It was around this time that I asked SarahSweeter to visit me in San Francisco to rub my back and cook me delicious meals and make me feel better. She said she’d love to but as a grad student couldn’t swing it. I tried searching for cheap flights that fit her budget, like a Tuesday mid-day flight to a Thursday morning flight. But there was nothing. And so it was then, after a glass of wine and with Christmas gift pocket change deposited, that I went on the internet, took a deep, drunk breath, and used my new dollars to buy SarahSweeter an airplane ticket to San Francisco. Right? Because having SarahSweeter visit is more important than invisible real estate. And family is what is most important. Dr. Adam was proud of me and said I did the right thing and I smiled with tears in my eyes mostly because being selfless is hard. Then, he went out with his friends to a party and I sat at home and three glasses of wine later I transferred $495.99 dollars from my savings to my checking and bought AlexSweet.com and I didn’t tell anybody until just now.*

The end.

*Except for /jec. I told him on Sunday.

I broke my muscles

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

Good night for a soccer sports game. Go frogs!

Guys. I think I pulled by vastus intermedius. I am not trying to be dramatic. I thought I was being a wuss when I got a shooting pain in my right thigh when I bent down to tie my shoe and again when I broke into a failed sprint trot to get to the streetcar this weekend. And when I got to the game tonight, I did 20 minutes of warm ups and stretching and then I ate 3 ibuprofen and I said, Coach put me in! Which was hard because we don’t have a coach and an engineer on our team from the San Francisco Office was like, Just run on! And I was like, ok! And then I ran on to the field and fell down.

I crawled off and sat on the side of the field and pouted for the rest of the game. When I got home I looked up pulled vastus intermedius and the internet diagnosed me with pushing-myself-too-hard-on-the-first-game-syndrome. It is not life-threatening except for my confidence intervals which are dead. Fortunately, I can still bike and walk briskly. But right now I am sidelined. Bad news for the Frogs. My rehabilitation program will include  drinking hot chocolate and doing some light swimming on the weekends. Tune in next time when I break my goggles.

Critical

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

It’s been a long time since I’ve been up all night but it’s 2:17am and I’m doing math homework and drinking a frappuccino and highliting things in my statistics book like, “the liklehood ratio tests can be used to ascertain the significance of predictors to the model.” The bad news is this homework was due last Tuesday whoops but I was in Boston trying to get the jobs. The chair of our dept teaches my math class and he knows I was in the Boston trying to get the jobs so s’all good.

In other news SarahSweeter was at the Coachella for the weekend. She lost her phone in the grass but then she found it at lost and found. That’s all I know so far.

Here’s a conversation I had with my studio instructor today. (Background: I’m in a four person studio group and we are developing a TOD (Transit-Oriented-Development) Concept for the Market East Station on Septa in downtown Philadelphia).

Instructor: Ok let’s see what you’ve done.

acsweet: Want to see my bike lane? I’m going to propose a center cycle track with three foot curb buffers, 10 ft through-lanes, 11 ft bus lanes, and 5 ft bike lanes and a center turning lane and near-side street lights what do you think?

Instructor: Great. It looks great. I love it.

acsweet: Ok I was going to do a plan view and a cross section and maybe a photo simulation, but so you also think I should I do a 3D rendering of it so people get a better idea of the perspective like they’re right there on the lane biking and feeling great?

Instructor: I wouldn’t waste your time. It’s not critical to the project.

acsweet: It’s critical to my future.

Instructor: ….

acsweet: ….

Instructor: Ok you can do a 3D rendering after you graduate and you’ll get all the jobs you want.

acsweet: Great thanks high five.

Swan Lake

Sunday, March 13th, 2011

Last night I decided I had to see Swan Lake performed by the Pennsylvania Ballet because this sounds posh and also because maybe in my dreams Natty Portman would be performing on stage and then we’d be besties. Tickets were about $3,000,000 a piece but great news students can get $15 half an hour before the show. So I put on my fancy slacks and my fancy shoes and my fur coat and hopped over to the theater where I waited in line for 30 minutes until I was 5 people away from the ticket booth when a large man faced the remaining 100 people in line and announced the show was sold out. This was sad news but also maybe a relief because I secretly knew Natty Portman would not be performing on stage because she was probably spooning with Benji Millepied. So I bought Thai dumplings and beer and went to Meg’s house instead where we talked about feelings. Which leads us to the tip-of-the-day: Fancy slacks and feelings = success any night of the week.

200 word powerpoints

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

It’s 2:52am. I know wtf right? I just finished a powerpoint presentation about Ballston Metro in Arlington, VA as a case study for transit-oriented development (tod).

Guess who just asked me to connect on Linked-In? Creepy.

CNY NYE PSTD

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

Great news it is 2011 isn’t that great? It is the year of the rabbit and also the masters degrees. Isn’t it great? Everything is so great.

Ok this is a lie everything is not great I feel horrible and have a really terrible case of PSTD syndrome. We had New Year’s Eve extravaganza in Ithaca and yesterday we drove home from Ithaca in the Winnebago and then GC BDoyk slept over and we went on the internet and looked at photos of ourselves and then she left this morning and I was like everything is fine, everything is going to be fine, I am fine. And then I was like  NO I AM NOT FINE and then this song came on my internet head phones and then I burst into tears. Friendship departures have rough landings. Here are some dumb friendship photos.

DUMB

Monday, December 20th, 2010

Remember December 20th, 2009? Today=Pt II. Flights canceled. sitting at home pouting and waiting for my instant chocolate pudding to gel in the fridge. That sentence gives me second hand embarrassment. I was supposed to be at home drinking hot toddies with sarahsweet. We video-chatted instead. Look how much fun we’re having.

UPDATE: Just kidding it was more like this.

No Sleep Slundays

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

Ok here’s the game. Let’s guess what time acsweat will go home. Right now it is 9:27pm.

A. 2am

B. 4am

C. 7am

D. 8am

E. 8pm

I’m going for 8am because then I’ll have enough time to go home and shower before our 10am Mission Fix Aruba Presentation Practice Run Through Clusterfest.

(photo courtesy of routine google search of humans with huge hands)

UPDATE 2:19am: (hint) It’s not A

Update 3:39am: I give up. I’ll be back at 8am. I don’t think that was an option.

STOP IT

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

I lost my voice. Here’s a sample conversation.

Friend: Good morning Alex!

ACSweet: scritchscratchity scratchscratch *sigh*

Here’s a sample of how I feel: