Archive for the ‘This Makes Me Nervous’ Category

What I meant to say

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

There are two rules to House of Bland and Blog do you want to know what they are? Ok.
Rule #1. No Blogging at work
Rule #2. No Blogging about gentleman friends

Coincidentally one must now imagine which two activities are taking up all of my time every time all the time every day (hint I am almost bending rule #2)

The difficulty in not blogging when you’re with the two things you’re not supposed to blog about is that HoBaB has endured what is widely known in blogging as a feelings desert. It’s painful, I think, for both the blog and the blogger. I end up feeling like a negligent pet owner, right? If HoBaB were a camel? In the desert?

But really sometimes when I am feeling particularly antsy for HoBaB and I am with my gentleman friend I will sneak into the other room and pretend to write emails when really I am secretly editing a feelings draft for HoBaB. It feels shameful I start to sweat and get paranoid and look over my shoulder while crouching in the corner with the lights off and when I am gone long enough he will come into the dark room to find me and I’ll slam my laptop shut and say Nothing! Haha! Internet!

After a desperate and failed attempt to blog on my roast phone this past weekend I started to feel like maybe HoBaB wasn’t going to make it. And if HoBaB didn’t make it, what would happen to me? Where do all the feelings go if not on the internet? If you have a feeling and it doesn’t go in the internet and nobody’s around did the tree make a sound in the woods?

Ironically there is plenty of time to blog after work when there is a period of about an hour when my gentleman friend works on his science homework and I read all of my shopping emails (gender equality) and I think maybe he won’t notice my pink and red HoBaB banner. But he’s very observant (science!) and good at the internet (dream) so I figured it was only a matter of time.

You might think that this story has a happy ending. That last night after sitting alone in my bathroom typing my feelings furiously onto the internet the guilt became too much and I walked into my room where my gentleman friend was working on his science homework and while struggling to catch my breath I’d stand there crying and hugging my laptop in the door frame until I finally wailed, I HAVE A BLOG!

Very dramatic. And after all the secrets were released I could blog freely and openly and HoBaB would be like a leaping jumping grinning camel in a sunny damp rainforest of internet dreams.

Instead I’m writing this on my roast phone on the traincycle. Alone. But, in the end the first step, I think, is acknowledging the circumstances and, apparently, dismissing rule #2, at least for now. Ergo, this post. So. There it is.

Tune in next time when I tell you about the time in LA I went to Disneyland with /jec and Grandpa Lou. It’ll be great.

Secret Blogging

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

Secret office blogging series ok here are the rules: I wrote this blog post at work quietly as a secret and then emailed it to myself to post later and now it is later. Ok here it is:

Doing hawaiian traffic excel tables at 3:30pm in the afternoon reminds me of french class sophomore year of high school which was held every single day after lunch and where i fell asleep every single day after lunch and I can remember thinking, this formula isn’t working why is every single day the same it isn’t working can we at least change this up so I don’t fall asleep in french class and I can remember biting my tongue so hard that it would keep me awake and when that didn’t work I tried to flirt with a junior named Rob but biting my tongue with sleepy eyelids I think is the opposite of what one might hope is a “come hither” look and nothing ever materialized between us. I took a break from my excel to go to starbucks and then i came back and found GFX friend and the office manager standing with their hands on their hips staring at the ground in the cubicle next to mine and so I walked over and saw that they were staring at carpet swatches for our new office. One swatch was green, the next was 10% darker green, and the next 20% darker green. Which one? They asked. Are you kidding? I’m crosseyed right now. But I stood there and stared with them and told them I liked the darkest swatch because I am dark (emotionally?) and they looked at me and it is 80 degrees and sunny out and I am wearing all black except for my grey hair and then I said, if you take photos of the office and then of the swatches I can photoshop some before and after photos for you and they gave me a thumbs up and walked away.

Here’s a fun fact: Tonight I was supposed to have dinner with my long-lost high school friend who now lives in SF but she had to raincheck and I was secretly happy because I really need to iron. Is this how grown ups feel when plans fall through? Sorry about the BBQ/pool-party/camping trip Bob I’m all tied up at work. No problem Bill I needed to burn the grease off my grill tonight anyway. That sounds like a euphemism.

Ok here are three things to look forward to chronological order:

  1. Tomorrow’s lunchtime presentation on bicycle planning
  2. Thursdays state-of-the-company presentation
  3. Ma Sweet’s arrival on Friday

TOD

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Tomorrow is our final studio review. We are presenting a Transit-Oriented Development project for Market East, a transit rich area in downtown Philadelphia. I have slept 6 hours in the past two nights. Great work. The good news is I got to the dry cleaners tonight 10 minutes before they closed. The bad news is it’s 85 degrees. How am I supposed to wear my fancy slacks in 85 degrees? This is the beginning of the end of grad school. After tomorrow I have 1 research paper, 1 take-home final exam paper, 1 math homework, 1 math final exam, and fifteen high-fives to finish.

Here’s the plan of attack for Thursday:

9-10am – Advanced Statistical Modeling Final Exam Review (panicking)

10:30-12pm – Final Studio Presentation Practice (don’t panic)

12:30-1:30pm – Feelings doctor (my favorite)

2-5pm – Final Studio Presentation (blackout)

5:05-when friendships cut me offpm – acsweet drinks fifteen glasses of white wine.

can’t wait. weesh m’luck.

oh no. oh no. omg

Friday, March 4th, 2011

““When I become mayor, you know what I’m going to spend my first year doing?” Mr. Weiner said to Mr. Bloomberg, as tablemates listened. “I’m going to have a bunch of ribbon-cuttings tearing out your [expletive] bike lanes.”

“DEVOTEES refer to her as “J. S. K.” and lionize her as the brave and forward-thinking city planner who ushered in a golden age for bicyclists, pedestrians and environmentalists. Some detractors use a different nickname: “Chaka Khan,” a reference to the big-haired 1970s singer.” For City’s Transportation Chief, Kudos and Criticism, NYTimes

JSK is under attack.

Destiny

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

I was about to pay $130 to register for the Transportation Research Board’s 90th Annual Conference and at first I was like omg $130 is a lot of dolla-dolla-billz and maybe I am being irrational even though I love transportation a lot and last year did a really great job wearing business attire to the 89th Annual Conference and just as I was about to say no I should spend $130 on other things like skittles from the vending machine I looked at the interactive program and suddenly there was a bright light and then a flash of lightening and then a rainbow and as the clouds parted and my eyes adjusted I saw the words that never fail to make me become $130 poorer.

Jan 25 2011 1:30PM- 3:15PM

Making Walking Safer in New York City: The 2010 Pedestrian Safety Study and Action Plan – Presented by Sadik-Khan, Janette I., New York City Department of Transportation

and then I fainted. the end.

A Joke but not really

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Dan Abroms* He’s in town for three weeks on business from Texas where he lives with his girlfriend and works for the Army.**

We’re having dinner on Friday night.

Maybe we’ll talk about Houston’s absent zoning code.

*Boyfriend circa 2001-2003

**This is one of the most personal posts I’ve ever written***

***OMG Most boring post and most personal post in one day way to branch out acsweet****

****Referring to myself in the third person gives me second hand embarrassment*****

***** great.

Email of the Day

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that Evanston is too far to go?

Mom

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Giordano Dance School <diana@gusgiordanodanceschool.com>
Date: Wed, 6 Oct 2010 12:24:35 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Drop In For Teen/Adult Hip Hop Classes At Giordano’s!
To: Ma Sweet’s email address

Discover Simple, Private Sharing at Drop.io

DROP IN FOR A HIP HOP CLASS AND GET INTO THE GROOVE!

MONDAYS  8:15 – 9:15p
THURSDAYS  7:15 – 8:15p
with DREW
TUESDAYS  7 – 8p
with CRAIG
Click Here
www.giordanodance.org
For Complete
Class Schedule And Registration Form
Click On The Blue “G”
Amy Giordano
School Director
Giordano Dance School
614 Davis Street
Evanston, IL 60201
Phone 847.866.9442
Fax 847.866.9116
Find us on Facebook

27+1

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

My birthday is on Friday. I know. This happens every year. I am not prepared, emotionally or socially.  Instead let’s talk about Aruba.

HERE ARE THE THINGS I GAINED:

A broader understanding of the Aruban culture.

An mp3 of the Aruban national anthem.

10 lbs

HERE ARE THE THINGS I LOST:

My sippy cup.

Panic Shmanic Wear 4 Bathing Suits

Monday, September 13th, 2010

Update:

I spent too much time writing this blog post about going to Aruba and facing 3 panic-inducing activities (flying on a plane, speaking to a crowd, wearing bathing suits).  I should have been reading my homework instead. After I published the post I tried to make a grammar fix from my roast phone but there was a glitch. And then the post got deleted. Just like that.

And now I feel horrible. It’s like losing a paper after you’ve been working on it for 30 minutes. Except HoBaB doesn’t have autosave. I think I am more emotionally attached to HoBaB posts than paper drafts. Blogging is a risky business for feelings. One minute they’re on the internet. The next minute they’re deleted. S’hard.

Bermuda, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mamamamama

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

I am taking three classes.

Today was my first class: URBAN DESIGN STUDIO – THE PUBLIC REALM “URBAN DESIGN VISIONS FOR ARUBA”

We’re creating a master plan for the island of Aruba. I’m leaving on Wednesday for a 12 day honeymoon with 23 other urban design students. We’re staying at a hotel that shuttles its guests to its own private island every fifteen minutes. Aruba is expensive. In the hotel room the WiFi is $75 per week at the hotel. At the pool the WiFi is free. I don’t know how this works.

Here’s a fun fact. Did you know that all the Aruba hotels import palm trees from Florida so that their resorts can look like this? When really the entire island is an arid desert like this? And when I’m there more like this? (FINGERS CROSSED!)

Grad school is romantic.